Beta Readers Wanted!

I could use a couple more beta readers for Chaos Season, Book Three of my fantasy Season Avatars series. This book features Jenna as she not only deals with Chaos Season, but also deathbushes, the War Avatar, and a secret she's keeping from Gwen. I'd like readers to tell me if the characters are likeable, if the plot is interesting, and if there are any confusing/boring bits. The book is about 250 pages, and I need feedback by mid-April for my June release. Beta readers get a thank you in the Acknowledgements section and copies of all the books in the series so far. Please let me know if you'd like to read Chaos Season. Thanks for your help!

A-Z: Trains

My son (who turns four next month) is obsessed with trains. He wears striped overalls and a striped cap every single day. His favorite things to bring for show-and-tell are model train catalogs, and he gets upset if one of the other kids tears a page. At home, he likes to cut the engines and cars out of the catalogs and tape them all over the walls and furniture. (I finally took down the ones in the living room, but there are still some in his bedroom.) He knows the difference between steamies and diesels, and he also recognizes the various types of freight cars. As you might expect, he has a ton of Thomas the Train toys, and he's also showing interest in Chuggington. However, he prefers "trains with no faces," such as the G-gauge freight train set he got for Christmas. Luckily, we live near the Illinois Railway Museum and the Chicago Botanic Garden, so we take him to those places, hobby train shops, and train shows. Here are a few of the exhibits we saw last year:

Every year, the Chicago Botanic Garden sets up an outdoor model railroad exhibit featuring American landmarks. Here's one of the trains.












My son riding in the Zephyr at the Illinois Railway Museum last year.












Here he is posing with his favorite train at the Railway Museum, a Baldwin Steam Locomotive. It doesn't run, but Alex talks about fixing it when he's old enough. I wonder if he'll still be as much of a trainiac at twelve as he is now.















We're actually taking Alex to a live Thomas the Train show tonight, so I wonder how he'll like it. While he does watch the show occasionally, he's more into other shows like Curious George--especially episodes involving trains.

Although train fascination seems to be a boy thing, I have written about trains in my stories. The final volume of my Season Lords trilogy was supposed to include a train trip, although I don't think I got to that part. There's also a train ride in Twinned Universes.

Are there any other current or recovering trainiacs out there?

A-Z: Indecision

After blogging about Hamlet on Saturday, it seems natural to discuss indecision. ;)

I don't consider myself an indecisive person. When I went shopping for my wedding dress, it only took me one session at one store to find it. I had gone there looking for a specific dress I saw in a magazine, but when I tried it on, it didn't suit me. After a few more dresses, the salesperson brought me a dress with light blue crystals that laced up the back, and I immediately knew that was the one. I tried it on, liked what I saw, and ordered it. I didn't regret giving up my first favorite dress, and I didn't second-guess myself by paging through more bridal magazines.

Trying to decide what route to take with my writing career is a more difficult choice. Twinned Universes is in the hands of two crit partners from the online workshop I belong to. I'm hoping they won't find too much to change, because I'm at the point where I've taken it as far as I can go on my own. I need to get it out of the door and move on to a new project. However, I've also written a novella-length prequel to Twinned Universes; I'm currently revising it to make sure they're consistent. I think that story is worth sharing too, but so far, I haven't found many potential markets for it. Even if I did sell it, I'm not sure how that would affect Twinned Universes. Would the audiences overlap? Should I just try to find an agent for my novel and then worry about the novella? Would it be worth using the novella as a teaser for the novel? Or should I self-publish both? Are they really ready for submission or publication?

Weighing the pros and cons of self-publishing versus traditional publishing could be a separate post in itself. With recent examples of authors who move from one format to the other, the two types of publishing are no longer mutually exclusive. (Of course, that may be more true for best-selling authors than mid-list ones.) Ultimately what the choice comes down to is deciding what I really want from my career and which path is most likely to get me there. I'd like to say that finding readers who appreciate my work is most important, but is that enough? It would be nice too to get some validation from the general speculative fiction community, and that's more likely to happen if I go with a traditional publisher. Each side has strengths and weaknesses, and I need to weigh them carefully before I can move forward with confidence.

A-Z: Hamlet

I've been working on Twinned Universes for a long time, and it's undergone many revisions and title changes. But one thing that's been constant from the very start is its links to Hamlet. In fact, the first version of this story was called To Thine Own Self Be True, which is a line from Hamlet. I decided early on that my main character was an actor, and playing Hamlet seemed like the ultimate goal for his career. Plus, just as in Hamlet, a relative is suspected of killing another relative in my book.

I've done several things to strengthen the ties between Twinned Universes and Hamlet. In the current version of my novel, my main character, Paul, is actually appearing in Hamlet as a minor character at the beginning of the book. He gets inspiration from the play and quotes lines from in on several occasions. I've even borrowed some names from the play for one of my characters, although I've tweaked them so it's not too obvious.

As for Shakespeare's play, I've read it several times, but I don't recall studying it in my college Shakespeare course, and I've never seen it live. I have seen Kenneth Branagh's version on DVD and enjoyed it very much. Humm, it's only ten bucks on Amazon now. To buy or not to buy, that is the question....

A-Z: Freedom and Fellowship

Readers, what are you looking for when you read a story? Is it escape, love, exotic adventures, or something else? Writers, what wishes are you trying to fulfill with your fiction?

There are two themes I see over and over in my work: freedom and fellowship. What can be more precious than the freedom to choose your own work, your love, your destiny? I think this theme is most developed in my Lyon's Line stories ("Lyon's Legacy," originally titled "Move Over Ms. L.," and Twinned Universes, which I've also referred to here as Across Two Universes.). The protagonists of those stories are burdened by being descendants of a legendary musician. Everyone else expects them to pursue music too, even though they have their own interests. The theme shows up in other works too. In my Season Lords trilogy, a young woman must free herself from her father's repressive culture. One of the reasons shapeshifters interest me is that their abilities give them a special kind of freedom.

Experiences are more fun if they're shared, and stories are more interesting if the protagonists has companions to share his/her trials. Sidekicks can serve many functions in a story: they can help or betray a hero, add comic relief, or even just give the heroine someone to talk to. I've written two different stories, one fantasy and the other science fiction, in which a group of four has to work together to solve a problem. The groups are different; one is a quartet of four young women with magical abilities, while the other is a mixed group in which only one person has a special talent (though he needs the help of the other three to fully use it.) Although there's conflict among the people in each group, each quartet is like a close-knit family. (And yes, if you read my Beatles entry on Saturday, the groups are inspired by the Fab Four themselves.)

Freedom and fellowship are two needs people must fulfill to be happy. While books aren't a substitute for real life, I hope my stories will one day help others feel more complete.

The Kindle as Edit Tool

It's been several months since I've read Twinned Universes (the new title for Across Two Universes), so I decided it was time for a read-through. In the past, I would have printed out the manuscript, using up most of a ream of paper which I'd have to fasten together with the biggest clips I could find. Then I'd have to carry the paper with me while reading and making notes in the margins. This time, I uploaded my file to my Kindle. If you'd like to learn how to do that, Amazon has detailed instructions on their website. (I could describe the steps I took, but I don't think they were the most accurate way to do it.) Although some of the formatting, such as paragraph indentations, was lost during the transfer, other aspects, such as italics, were available on the Kindle.

It was much easier to carry my Kindle around with me than half a ream of paper, and I was able to make notes in the file as I read. Most of these were short notes telling me to delete a filler word like "just" or "even." In some places, I wrote "change" when I wasn't satisfied with the wording. For some reason, these notes didn't always end up next to the word I wanted to delete or change, so I had to use context to figure out what I'd had in mind when making the note. I lost count of how many notes I made, but I think there were over 150. There is a way to view the list of notes, but I'm going through the entire document again so I have a better context for the notes.

Despite some of the drawbacks of editing on the Kindle, I found it a useful way to help me read my novel with fresh eyes and edit it afterward. I recommend this approach to anyone who has a Kindle or an e-reader with similar options.

Back on the Blog Chain: Biggest Fear

This round, Christine challenges us to get to know our characters more deeply with the following question:

What is the main character of you current WiP MOST afraid of, and why? Don't use a previously finished work. This is all about discovering the inner motivations of your current characters - the ones you don't know that well yet.


I'm not sure what approach to take with this question, as I'm currently revising two finished stories and researching another idea that's so new I only have a couple ideas of what the MC will be like. At this point, all I know is that my heroine's name will probably be Lillian, she's an artist living in a small Midwestern town at the turn of the century, and she fears losing her freedom in marriage. All of the preceding is subject to change without notice. Perhaps it would be best to return to my NaNoWriMo project, even though that's a sequel to a finished story and uses the same MC at a different point in his life. In Catalyst in the Crucible, Paul is most afraid of losing the ones he loves. He lost his mother in Across Two Universes and still occasionally blames himself for her death. Now, some of his actions in Across Two Universes have triggered events that threaten everyone. I don't think I can say much more without going into spoilers.

Check out what Kat said before me and what Kate has to add!

2010 Writing Goals--Looking Back

Well, here we are, the last blog post of 2010. It seems fitting to look back at the writing goals I set myself in January and see how well I did. You can find the original post here; it was part of the Blog Chain at the time. Here's what I posted:

I will attend WisCon Memorial Day weekend.--Completed.

I will read the writing books on my to-read list: Flogging the Quill and The 10% Solution.--I read The 10% Solution, but although I started Flogging the Quill and read sample chapters on the blog of the same name, I haven't finished it.

I will blog more frequently than I have been lately--at least 10 times a month. I'm thinking of blogging about some of the science news stories I read and discussing the implications for science fiction. I will also search for more blogs to follow and leave comments.--I've actually done well with all of this. I increased my blogging, posted more about science, and followed more blogs.

I will critique at least two chapters or short stories on the Online Writing Workshop (edited to add: per month). --I did this for a couple of months, but then I got so busy I let this slide for most of the year. However, I did crit work privately for writing partners and publicly on Miss Snark's First Victim and Absolute Write. And now that my son is going to bed earlier (knock on wood), I hope to have more time for OWW.

Although I made significant progress on revising Across Two Universes and think I've done as much as I can with it on my own, I'd like some feedback on the complete book from my critiquing partners before I start submitting it anywhere.

I did work on a new project; I wrote over 50,000 words of the sequel to Across Two Universes during National Novel Writing Month. For now, it's on hold until I finish ATU.

Although I didn't meet 100% of my writing goals, I did complete two goals I set for myself and made significant progress on the others. That's not too shabby. I still can't decide what, if any, goals I should set for myself in 2011. One thing I do plan to do is keep a list (on a separate page of this blog) of all the books I read in 2011. I'm not resolving to read a certain amount of books, though.

Have a happy (and safe) New Year, and I'll talk to you again soon!

Best of Blog Chain: Torture or Tough Love?

My final Best of Blog Chain post is from February 22, 2009; this is one of my favorites. I hope you've enjoyed the blast from the past!


Time again for another Blog Chain Post. Leah picked the topic this time, and she's hoping to make us stretch ourselves. Here's her question (or series of questions):

So Blogchain, (and others) show me your dark side...What do you do to amp up the conflict? What pins do you stick in the little voodoo dolls? How do you torture your characters???

(As always, you can go back to Leah's post to follow this chain from the beginning, or you can go back to Michelle's post immediately before mine and follow the chain backwards.)

Leah thinks this topic will make some Blog Chain members squirm since (and I quote), "These girls are nice...sweet...moms and teachers and doctors!" Leah, I assume you're not a parent yet; forgive me if that's wrong. But moms know sometimes you have to let the baby cry himself to sleep, no matter how long it takes, so he learns to fall asleep on his own and sleep through the night; sometimes you have to take your child to the doctor for shots and give them nasty-tasting medicine; and sometimes you have to take away something dangerous or discipline them when they do something wrong.

In short, sometimes you need to practice tough love, even if your kids think it's torture.




When it comes to writing characters, I treat them like children (no wonder they sound younger than they are!) and practice tough love with them. I like my protagonists; I don't want to subject them to waterboarding. My antagonists deserve that. But my protags wouldn't enjoy their Happy Ever After endings so much if they didn't pass through some tough times first. And to be honest, I want to see my characters grow over the course of a novel, but they won't overcome their faults until they make mistakes and learn from them. The wounds that I give them will remake them.

Let me give some examples from my WIP, Across Two Universes. At the beginning of the novel, my hero, Paul Harrison, is a seventeen-year-old actor. He is also literally the product of two universes and has a unique talent because of that. However, he doesn't understand his gift, so when his mother is poisoned, he doesn't understand the warning in time to save her. This guilt will drive some of his most desperate acts later in the story. But I don't stop there. Paul was cloned from a famous musician who lost his mother at seventeen. Paul suspects his mother was killed to make his life similar to the man he was cloned from. The death doesn't unlock his musical talent (he doesn't have any), but it gives him more guilt he has to live with, and the only way he can deal with it is to bring the murderer to justice. Add to that the fact that Paul refused to give his mother a final hug (It was in public; he didn't want to look like a mama's boy. The refusal probably saved his own life, but at the cost of more guilt.), and I have another factor that will affect how Paul treats others in the future.

Internal pressures are good, but to keep a reader hooked, it's better to have different types of conflict in a story. As Paul tries to solve his mother's murder and prevent another, he finds other people opposing him, from time travelers, who are trying to protect history, to his friends, who are trying to protect him from himself. Every time he makes progress towards his goals, he complicates the situation further. But these struggles are necessary for him to mature into adulthood and develop his quantum gift. "For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required." (KJV, Luke 12:48) I have grand plans for Paul extending beyond this novel; if anything, his suffering will increase in the sequel. I empathize too much with him to call it torture; I've wept over what happens to him. But the story has to go that way for him to achieve what he must, with humanity's survival at stake.

Anyway, that's more than enough for one post. Leah, I hope I've answered your question. Head on over to Kat's blog for her take on this question!

Midweek Randomness

1. I finally managed to upload my copy of Across Two Universes to my Kindle. I had a couple of technical problems with it; I needed to add an e-mail address to my Kindle so it would accept attachments, and since my Kindle isn't on our home wireless network (allow me to spare you the explanation why I can't add it; it's rather stupid), I had to use the cord. I thought that by putting my story in a different format, it would help me with editing. This was actually going to be my entire topic for today, actually. But the horrible line breaks were so distracting I went back to the computer instead. At least it motivated me to start editing ATU again!

2. Paul doesn't always come across as sympathetic. I wonder if I need to make his motivations and thoughts more evident.

3. I promised myself I'd buy myself one of these Vera Bradley Tea for One sets if I won NaNoWriMo:


I did so on Monday -- and of course, the next day, I get a Barnes & Noble coupon via e-mail. Figures.

4. I'm also treating myself to a Beatles marathon since I'm home on vacation. I'm playing all of their official albums in order. I'm just finishing up Revolver as I'm typing. You'd think as a fan, I'd play the albums more often instead of listening to other CDs or Pandora. But it's good to hear some of my favorites that don't get much radio airplay.

Midwinter Blogfest--Snowballs in Space

As I mentioned yesterday, I signed up for a Midwinter Blogfest hosted by Marieke. She wanted to know how our main characters celebrate midwinter. This is a scene I wrote especially for this blogfest, featuring characters from my science fiction novel Across Two Universes. Paul is the main character; Scott and Yvonne are siblings who are his best friend and girlfriend respectively. They all live on a research spaceship named for Carl Sagan. Without further ado, here's my scene:

Snowballs in Space

Paul paused in the living room on his way to see Yvonne. Either Dad or his sister had switched the holoprojectors to holiday mode overnight. Lights and pine branches looped around the illusion of a fireplace in the wall. Four stockings were displayed, but Mom’s stocking didn’t belong there anymore. The first Christmas without her. I’d give every present I ever got to have her back. He debated for a moment if he should remove it from the holo program, but it was more comforting to have it there. Even so, he’d lost some of his Christmas spirit. Hopefully Yvonne would help him recover it. He opened the door—

And something cold, white, and wet smacked him in the face.

Scott stood smirking in front of his family’s suite. He wore bright purple gloves from the lab, and a tub of more white stuff blocked the door. “Merry Christmas, Paul!”

Paul wiped his face. “What the hell was that?”

“Snow! I made it in the lab freezer. It’s an old tradition to make it into balls and throw them at each other during winter.”

Paul had only seen snow a couple of times and couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to handle the stuff. His face stung with cold, and his best shirt was wet. He turned up the heat fibers to dry it. “I think this is one tradition that should be left in the past.”

“You don’t want a snowball fight?” Scott frowned. “Normally you’d start it.”

“Not now, Scott. I have somewhere to go.”

Paul hurried down the Sagan’s hallway to the garden, where tiny lights nestled in the plants. Yvonne was waiting in their favorite nook. “Merry Christmas, angel.” He handed her a box.

She slid it open and gasped as a twisted gold bracelet studded with gems slipped out. “Isn’t this your mom’s bracelet? I can’t accept this. This must have cost thousands of credits. Besides, isn’t it a family heirloom or something? Shouldn’t it go to Cass?”

“She has the rest of Mom’s jewelry.” Paul swallowed, remembering how tough it had been to redistribute his mother’s things. “But Dad said I could save something if I wanted to give it to my wife when I get married.”

Yvonne shook her head, but a twinkle in her eye belied her exasperation. “I’ve told you, it’s way to soon to talk about that.”

“Why not? I've said since I was five that we were going to get married someday.” He drew back warily. “You’re not going to throw ice cream at me again, are you?”

She tilted her head. “That wouldn’t be a nice way to thank you, would it? How about this instead?”

She leaned forward and kissed him, proving they didn’t need mistletoe.

When their lips finally parted, Paul said, “Yvonne?”

“Yes, Paul?”

“Do you know how much snow Scott made? I say after dinner we steal it and pelt him good.”



I hope you enjoyed the scene! Please stop by Marieke's blog for a complete list of the participants so you can check out their entries too!

Back On the Blog Chain: Where Do Characters Come From?

This round, Abby wants to learn about our characters:

Where do your characters come from? And once they've been introduced to you, how do you get to know them?

Kate posted before me, and Eric will post tomorrow.

Unfortunately for me, if there's such a thing as a Characters'R'Us store, I have yet to find it. I would say for me, characters tend to start with the original idea I get for a story. For example, when I came up with the idea for my novella "Move Over Ms. L.," I wanted to write about someone listening to the Beatles perform at the Cavern Club before they hit it big. I wanted a SF twist, so I came up with a time traveler from the future. I then started asking myself questions, such as "Why was this person go then and there?" and "Why was she in particular chosen for this mission?" Gradually, as I turned the idea over in my mind, the character of Joanna Lennon, the great-granddaughter of John Lennon who preferred science to rock'n'roll, came to mind. I don't often develop a character through directed questions the way I did for this particular story; more often, I look for people who might be involved in the particular story idea I have in mind and go from there, pre-writing in my thoughts as I think about characters and possible scenes for a story.

Another important source of characters for me is other characters. I've mentioned before in a previous blog chain post how my story ideas turn into family sagas. So after my first set of characters have their adventures, fall in love, and start families, I have to find something to do with their kids. My current projects, Across Two Universes and the sequel Catalyst in the Crucible, involve children of characters in "Move Over Ms. L." (I've de-Lennonized these books, so they're not direct sequels at this point. If I ever publish my novella, I'll have to decide if I want to use the original version or alter it to fit the other stories.)

I don't have a formal process for getting to know my characters. I don't normally write character sheets (I keep all that information in my head, though I did prepare a few character sheets as part of NaNoWriMo prep) or interview them. I get to know them as I play with them in my head, then as I write and revise. Sometimes they change considerably from draft to draft. I do feel part of me has to go into each character for me to make him or her authentic.

The phrasing of this question reminded me of the song "Getting to Know You," so I'll end this post by sharing this YouTube video from The King and I:

First 250 Words Blogfest

A couple of weeks ago, Elle Strauss hosted a First 250 Words Contest. I was fortunate enough to be one of the finalists. Today, she's hosting a Blogfest so everyone can share their openings. Here's my entry, the opening of Across Two Universes:


            After standing so long under the hot stage lights, Paul would have crossed the wormhole without a spacesuit for a drink of water. The greenroom was down the hall, but crew members dashing around and setting up for the next scene made the backstage area an obstacle course. As he reached the hallway, a costume programmer yanked him off to the side.

            “You’re Paul Harrison, right?” she asked. “Your sister’s at the back door. She says there’s a family emergency.”

            He removed his sweaty face mesh. “Just her? What’s wrong?”

            “She was too upset to say.”

            Dad and his sister had been shopping for supplies to be sent up to the spaceship; why wasn’t he here too? Frowning, Paul sprinted down the corridor of narrow dressing rooms to the back. Cass peered through the security window. Mascara was streaked across her face, and auburn hair tumbled around her head. After he let her in, she clung to him so tightly her jacket became entangled in his holoprojectors.

            “What’s up, Sis?” He strained his ears to follow the onstage dialogue. “I have to go back before my next scene.”

            She looked up at him, her blue eyes glistening. “Mom’s in the hospital.”

             Shit. A spasm of itching crept over Paul’s arms. “She was fine at lunch. What happened?”

             “I don’t know!” Cass released him. “Dad got a call from one of the ushers saying Mom threw up and passed out.”

            “I’m right here. How come no one told me?” 

I hope you enjoyed that! To visit the other blogs participating in this contest, please check here. 

Life Imitates Art

My Kindle arrived today! I plan to discuss it on Monday after I've had some time to check it out. So far it's pretty neat, though.

Anyway, in the meantime, here's an article about someone at the Large Hadron Collider who claims to have come back from the future to destroy the LHC. Personally, even if time travel does become possible someday, I doubt we'd be able to travel into our own past. (That's why I have Paul travel to an alternate universe in my book.) Still, the last paragraph of the article makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Edited to Add: Whoops, I didn't look closely enough at the date. This was an April Fool's Day joke. I don't expect people to link to those in mid-August.

Ten Word Tuesday: Announcement

I added a new page to my blog. Click here.

The Bechdel Test and Male POV

Last Friday, Krista analyzed her writing projects to determine if they passed the Smurfette Test (the work has more than one woman) and the Bechdel Test (it has more than one woman who talk to each other about something than a man or men). These tests are important because many films, TV shows, novels, etc. still feature a token female character or put the female characters off to the side. Krista's post made me think about some of my projects to see if they would pass these tests.

The Season Lord Trilogy (Day of All Seasons, Fifth Season, and the unfinished Summon the Season Lords) featured a group of four female magic-users who have to work together to save their country. This definitely passes both tests.

My short story "A Reptile at the Reunion" is about a woman going back to the University of Magic to meet her friends, one male and one female. The two females discuss magic, not men.

My novella "Move Over Ms. L." featured a young woman who talks to her mother, her labmates (who include two lesbians), the director of the time travel program, and her ancestor's aunt. While some of the conversations are about men, others aren't.

This leads me to my current project, Across Two Universes. While there are several female characters--Paul's sister Cass; his love interest Yvonne; the ship's psychiatrist, Dr. Stern; and the ship's captain--they don't talk to each other as much as my female characters do in other stories. They tend to talk more to my main character, Paul, instead. And even when they do talk directly to each other, they talk a lot about Paul or his plans. I wouldn't say it completely fails the Bechdel test, but it doesn't pass as strongly as some of my other stories. Why?

The answer has to do with my main character, Paul. Almost all of the story is filtered through his perspective. As the main character, he has the most at stake, and his actions drive the story. It's not surprising that the other characters react to him. Paul isn't sexist; he was raised by a strong-willed mother, and he encourages his love interest to pursue her own interests. But he's also a teenager and an actor, so he has a strong ego too.

Another reason that there isn't as much female-female conversation in a book with a mostly male POV is that the women talk more to each other when Paul isn't around. There are at least three spots in my book where Cass and Yvonne (who are friends) are alone together, but since Paul's doesn't hear them, we don't know what they talk about. There are also topics women don't feel comfortable discussing in front of men. For instance, Yvonne and Cass aren't going to discuss 20th century tampons vs. 22nd century menstrual cups in front of Paul. (That's assuming they still bother with a period, that is.) Finally, during the scenes when Paul is having a conversation with more than one woman, the dialogue focuses on plot points (where speakers address the entire group or Paul in particular) instead of developing character (which would allow more sharing between secondary characters like Cass and Yvonne, rather than one of them talking directly to him).

Is a male POV always an obstacle to having a story pass the Bechdel Test? Are there other reasons why this would happen? And are there strategies we writers can use to increase female-female conversation in these stories? This topic is too important for one writer to tackle alone, so I'd like to invite you to comment on this post and offer your insights. I'll return to this topic on Wednesday, hopefully with ideas to help male POV stories pass the Bechdel Test. Stick around!

Back on the Blog Chain: Status Report

For this round, Cole wants to know what we've been working on lately:

Are you querying? Gearing up to go on submission? Writing? Revising? I'd love to hear what's new with you. And if you'd like to share a snippet of your WIP, even better!

Amanda posted before me, and Eric comes next.

Well, since I talk about my science fiction novel Across Two Universes so much, I figure I should discuss it first. I've done as much as I can with it on my own, so it's out to three reviewers. While I wait to hear from them, I've been getting feedback on my query letter and synopsis from the Absolute Writer Water Cooler and OWW. I've also started researching agents on QueryTracker. All this means that after umpteen zillion years, I'm finally gearing up to submit this project. Exactly when this will happen depends on the feedback I get from my reviewers, though I'm hoping I'm past the "tear it up and start over" phase by now.

Even though I haven't sold Across Two Universes yet, my characters have compelled me to start the sequel, currently called Catalyst in the Crucible. I was planning to make it a NaNoWriMo project, but I guess that's out the window now. That's OK; I just want to resolve Paul's story so he leaves me alone. ;)

I haven't forgotten about my shapeshifting sisters either. Although I'm not actually writing their story yet, I'm trying to plot it out. To be more precise, I have one plotline from the first project I wrote with them and a second plot from a short story I wrote while I was taking a break from Across Two Universes. I'm trying to figure out how to merge them. While I'd like to outline this story, I tend to write by the seat of my pants, so I have to make sure the outline doesn't spoil my urge to write the actual story. I think it would be good for me to work on something different from Paul once in a while.

Finally, here's the opening of Across Two Universes:

After standing so long under the hot lights, Paul felt like he’d passed through the wormhole as he entered the shadowed backstage. He headed to the green room for water, but a costume programmer yanked him off to the side, away from a couple of cursing stage hands.

“You’re Paul Harrison, right?” she asked. “Your sister’s at the back door. She says there’s a family emergency.”

Paul removed his sweaty face mesh. “What’s wrong?”

"She was too upset to tell me.”

I hope it’s nothing major. He sprinted down the corridor of narrow dressing rooms to the back. Cass peered through the security window. Mascara was streaked across her face, and her auburn hair tumbled wildly around her head. After he let her in, she clung to him so tightly her jacket became entangled in his holoprojectors.

“What’s up, Sis?” He strained his hearing to follow the onstage dialogue. “I have to go back before my next scene.”

She looked up at him, her blue eyes glistening. “Mom’s in the hospital.”

I hope you enjoyed it!

A Tale of Two Queries

Last Friday, I discussed the difficulties of writing query letters, especially for science fiction/fantasy novels. Today, I'm going to post part of my original query letter and a second I wrote to address some of the concerns my reviewers had. I'm just posting the part specifically about my novel, Across Two Universes; it's the same length in both queries.

Query #1:

On the day Paul’s mother was murdered, he didn’t perform his key scene in Hamlet. But when he realizes his Great-Uncle Jack may have been behind his mother’s death, his life becomes more like the play than he ever wanted. As the clone of a 20^th century rock star, Sean Quinn, seventeen-year-old Paul is the heir to musical talent his great-uncle yearns to possess. Now that Paul’s mother can’t stop him, Jack plans to force Paul to become a full-time Sean impersonator and give up his acting career.

Paul temporarily escapes his great-uncle by returning to the spaceship where he lives. Every year, the spaceship makes a round-trip passage through a wormhole to an alternate 20^th century universe where Sean is still alive. If Paul can persuade Sean to let him make a holo-likeness, then he can impersonate Sean’s ghost and trick a confession out of his great-uncle. But before Paul can meet the man he was cloned from, he first must convince other wary time travelers to let him visit the 20^th century Earth. Sean himself is slated to be murdered soon, something Paul’s mother tried to prevent. Would Paul honor her memory more by saving Sean or incriminating Great-Uncle Jack? If Paul chooses to save Sean, he could strand the spaceship in the 20^th century—assuming he doesn’t die in Sean’s place. With his life at risk in one universe and his freedom in another, Paul will need his friends, his holoprojector costume, and a quantum talent he didn’t know he had to avoid tragedy.

Query #2:

Every year, the spaceship Sagan passes through a wormhole to an alternate 20^th century Earth. Time travelers visit this planet to observe historic events as they occur and to take genetic samples back to their century. Sometimes they take samples from famous people, such as Sean Quinn, a rock star and peace activist.

Seventeen-year-old Paul lives on the Sagan with his family. After his mother is murdered during leave in the 22^nd century, he learns he’s Sean’s clone, created at his great-uncle’s insistence to be a new Sean. Although Paul loves acting, he doesn’t want to be stuck in the same role all his life. He suspects Great-Uncle Jack had his mother murdered to make Paul’s life more like Sean’s, but there’s no evidence. Paul decides to trick a confession out of his great-uncle by impersonating Sean’s ghost. He feels the best way to do this is to meet the man he was cloned from. But the other travelers refuse to let him do so, fearing Paul could change the 20^th century Earth’s history if he warns Sean about his own upcoming murder. Paul manages to escape from the time travelers to find himself caught in a horrible dilemma: continue with his original plans and let an innocent man die, or risk his own life to save Sean’s. Even that may be preferable to returning to face Great-Uncle Jack, who is plotting to use Paul’s girlfriend against him. Facing risks in two universes, Paul will need a quantum talent he didn’t know he had to avoid tragedy.

Which one do you think works better, and why? Do you have any suggestions for improvement? I'm planning to pitch this book as YA as well as science fiction; do you think one version would work better for that market than the other? Thanks in advance for your comments!

Query Letters: Mind the Gap

Well, Across Two Universes has been sent off to my beta readers (though I have room for a third reader, if anyone's interested), so now it's time to work on the query letter and synopsis. I've drafted both and posted the synopsis on OWW and the query letter on Absolute Write for feedback. So far, I've had one review on the synopsis, and there was only one paragraph the reviewer had trouble following. That's not bad. My query letter, on the other hand, still needs work.

Writing query letters is tough, but I think for SF/fantasy writers, it's even harder. It's not enough just to summarize the story; you have to explain the setting too, especially if it's much different from our world. To boil down a novel to a couple hundred words, you have to leave out a lot of details that help build credibility. There's a big gap between the novel and the query letter you have to mind, much like the famous "gap" of the London Undergound.

I think for my next draft of my query letter, I'm going to start with a background paragraph before diving into Paul's goals and conflicts. We'll have to see if that works better. In the meantime, have you experienced this gap between story and summary, and how did you deal with it?

Twitter Pitch Contest

I'm skipping Ten-Word Tuesday to bring you a Tale of Two Contests.

The QueryTracker Blog is hosting a Twitter Pitch Contest. Agent Suzie Townsend is looking for Twitter-length pitches (140 characters or less) for completed manuscripts in five different adult genres (science fiction, fantasy, urban fantasy, romance, and thriller). Entries will not be capped, and they'll start accepting them at noon on Tuesday, July 6. For further details, check out this link.

I plan to enter this contest, but since there's some time before it begins, I'd like to get some feedback on my pitches first. That's where the second contest comes in. Below are five pitches I've written for Across Two Universes:


1. An actor cloned from a rock star impersonates him in 1980 to save the star’s life and in 2156 to expose his own mother’s murderer. (131 characters)


2. A 22^nd century actor finds himself living Hamlet when he suspects his great-uncle murdered his mother. Who will get caught in the Mousetrap? (140 characters)


3. A 22^nd century actor must choose between saving the 20^th century Lennon-like musician he was cloned from or exposing his mother’s killer. (138 characters)

4.Meeting the rock star you were cloned from isn’t fun when you’re trying to solve one murder, stop another, and avoid other time travelers. (138 characters)

5. Paul was cloned from a 20^th century rock star, but the actor will only impersonate him to trick his great-uncle into a murder confession. (137 characters)

Which one hooks you best and why? Do you have constructive advice on how to make them clearer or more intriguing? Leave a comment below (note: for Facebook friends, you can also comment there when this blog uploads) by 5:00 p.m. CDT on Friday, July 2nd. As a thank-you for your help, each person who comments will be entered into a random drawing for a $10 gift card to Barnes and Noble. Let me know if you have any questions, and I'm looking forward to your feedback!