Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Blurb for Fifth Season

Although I didn't finish the rough draft of Summon the Seasons this month as I originally planned, I did make progress with Fifth Season, which I want to publish either in November or December. (I have an intermediate-length goal of publishing two books a year until 2020, so I'll have to push myself constantly to meet this challenge.) I've reached out to my beta readers and sent the manuscript out to a couple of them. I've also contacted Maria Zannini about the cover. Another important part of publishing is drafting the blurb. Here's my initial take on it:

Ysabel became the Goddess of Fall’s Avatar to care for animals, but her kind heart may jeopardize her loved ones.

When a pair of strange animals invade the country of Challen during a magical weather storm, Ysabel must learn if they’re ordinary creatures or if they’re connected to Salth, the Season Avatars’ sworn enemy. Distracting her from her task are the responsibility of raising her younger siblings, including her rebellious sister, and two rivals, including her husband in a previous life, competing for her hand.

When tragedy strikes the Avatars, Ysabel comes up with a desperate plan to allow all twelve of them to face Salth together as required by the Four Gods and Goddesses of Challen. Jealousy, however, tears an ally from the Avatars during their most vulnerable time as even more beasts rise against them. If Ysabel cannot control the strange animals and use justice as well as mercy, she will not only lose her position as Avatar but the people she loves. 

 Does it hook you? Does it give you too much or too little information? I have a feeling I'll be working on this some more before I start posting it elsewhere, so any constructive criticism on this blurb would be appreciated.


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

It's a great start. I think the first line needs to be more dire. Endanger or threaten instead of jeopardize?
And in the second paragraph, shouldn't it be 'are the responsibilities' or 'is the responsibility?' (Sorry, nitpicking. And not sure which one fits.)
Two a year? Wow. So, one every other year isn't good, is it?

Pat Dilloway said...

It's on the long side. Try to winnow it down a little.

Maria Zannini said...

I'd avoid starting two paragraphs with "When". I agree with Alex that the first line doesn't give us enough tension.

You might want to cut this line: Distracting her from her task...

It takes away from the main thrust of the conflict--the strange creatures.

Sandra Almazan said...

Thanks to all of you for your feedback! Back to the drawing board....

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