Thursday, December 22, 2005

Self-Reliance

Poetic thought for the morning: the trees are mocking summer with their winter foliage of frost. (That line occurred to me as I drove to work this morning, so I wanted to get it down. Maybe sometime I can use it in a story.)

In an attempt to clear the tumbleweeds blowing over this blog, I'd thought I'd pose some questions and see if I can raise a response from readers. A couple of things in real life and in other people's stories have made me think a bit about people who seem to need other people's opinions to make decisions of their own.

Have any of my readers noticed someone in real life doing this?

If so, did you offer your opinions or leave them to work it out on their own?

Do you see yourself as self-reliant or as seeking other's opinions?

What are the strengths and weaknesses of each trait?

If you're a writer or reader, would you rather write/read about one type of person over another?

3 comments:

Sue said...

My youngest does it all the time. It could just be a kid thing, but he won't make decisions. MInd you, he's a Libra so has to weigh everything up.

I think I do it everytime I put up something for a review. I know what *I* want but I'm curious to see how others think, and it certainly helps if I'm vacillating over something.

If I am certain about something I will offer an opinion, especially if I really feel someone is going in the wrong direction. I would never say go there, but how about and what if.

Self-reliant - ho hum, most of the time but not all of the time. Depends how strongly I feel about something or how important the decision is.

Sometimes looking at all sides of the fence gets confusing.

Again, it depends. Someone who continually vacillates is going to get irritating after a while. There again, someone who weighs the consequences of his/her actions is going to be a thoughtful person. You can't vacillate if someone's coming at you with a sword. You react. You already know the consequences if you don't darned well move. A teenager will abuse their bodies and then end up cripples by the time they are 40 ;( would I admire them more for thinking that one through? No, I'd find them too careful for their age and not daring enough. It's actually a hard question to answer, and I'm off to the chiropractor, so I'll thinka bout it while he's abusing...making me better.

Sue

Russ said...

My thought is, asking another's opinion isn't the same as being indecisive. I'm not so arrogant as to think I can't benefit from another's opinion, and, for that matter, if one cannot benefit from hearing another's, possibly contrary opinion, why then would you ask for discussion from others on the very topic? I'd much rather read about someone contemplative and searching, than someone who's silly enough to think they have it all worked out.

Oh, and quit changing the name of your blog!!!! (Man, I have to change my links again...)

Sandra said...

Sometimes it is useful to get someone else's opinion, especially if they know more about the subject than you do. For example, when I picked out my wedding dress, I went to the store having fallen in love with a dress I saw in a magazine. The salespeople recommended a different style of dress for my figure, and once I saw it on me, that's what I wound up going with. But on the other hand, sometimes I read posts by someone asking for advice, and you can tell by the way they give you the background on the situation which way they're leaning toward. It's as if they need reassurance to take a certain step--and yes, if it's a big step, then it does help to have other's support. But what about the people who ask other people for answers they could get for themselves through Google? Can you rely on other people so much that you don't want to make a decision without asking others first? Maybe I'm biased, maybe I'm too self-reliant (I'm sure Eugene would agree with that), but I think you can be too dependent on other people's opinions. I guess the trick is finding a happy medium.

And yes, Russ, I think I am done changing the name of my blog. ;)

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