Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Twitter Pitch Contest

I'm skipping Ten-Word Tuesday to bring you a Tale of Two Contests.

The QueryTracker Blog is hosting a Twitter Pitch Contest. Agent Suzie Townsend is looking for Twitter-length pitches (140 characters or less) for completed manuscripts in five different adult genres (science fiction, fantasy, urban fantasy, romance, and thriller). Entries will not be capped, and they'll start accepting them at noon on Tuesday, July 6. For further details, check out this link.

I plan to enter this contest, but since there's some time before it begins, I'd like to get some feedback on my pitches first. That's where the second contest comes in. Below are five pitches I've written for Across Two Universes:

1. An actor cloned from a rock star impersonates him in 1980 to save the star’s life and in 2156 to expose his own mother’s murderer. (131 characters)

2. A 22nd century actor finds himself living Hamlet when he suspects his great-uncle murdered his mother. Who will get caught in the Mousetrap? (140 characters)

3. A 22nd century actor must choose between saving the 20th century Lennon-like musician he was cloned from or exposing his mother’s killer. (138 characters)

4.Meeting the rock star you were cloned from isn’t fun when you’re trying to solve one murder, stop another, and avoid other time travelers. (138 characters)

5. Paul was cloned from a 20th century rock star, but the actor will only impersonate him to trick his great-uncle into a murder confession. (137 characters)

Which one hooks you best and why? Do you have constructive advice on how to make them clearer or more intriguing? Leave a comment below (note: for Facebook friends, you can also comment there when this blog uploads) by 5:00 p.m. CDT on Friday, July 2nd. As a thank-you for your help, each person who comments will be entered into a random drawing for a $10 gift card to Barnes and Noble. Let me know if you have any questions, and I'm looking forward to your feedback!


Eric said...

I like #3, Sandra. What I like about it is that it draws you in right away, gives you a concrete and clear idea of what the story is about, and gets right to the point. It entices with some intriguing possibilities without giving everything away. That's my vote anyway. Good luck :)

Anonymous said...

I like number 3 because it presents a choice and number 4 because it strikes me as more on the humorous side. Does your story have a humorous side to it?

Maria Zannini said...

Don't tell on me. I'm supposed to be working on edits, but you know how much I adore analyzing pitches. *g*

#3 is your most effective one because it's the clearest in terms of motivation and stakes.

Can I offer a suggestion on tweaking? I think you should be more specific. Naming McCartney might give it more gravitas.

For example:
A 22nd century actor, cloned from rock star, Paul McCartney, must choose between saving the music legend or exposing his mother's killer.

Good luck!!

Sandra Ulbrich Almazan said...

Thanks everyone! Maria, I've tweaked #3 as you suggested. (The rock star, Sean Quinn, is actually modeled after John Lennon, not Paul McCartney. My hero is named Paul instead of some variation of John to encourage him to be his own person.)

Maria Zannini said...

Ref: My hero is named Paul instead...

D'oh! I remember that now from your query.

I wonder if naming him Paul misleads readers? (at least readers who know the Beatles)

I think you're right not to use a variation of John, but maybe something far removed from any of the Beatles.

--Just thinking out loud since the name threw me off track.

It's a minor detail you can always hash out with an editor at a later date.

Best of luck in the contest! I'll be rooting for you!

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