All About the Beets--Song Parody

You know a contemporary song is popular when even I hear about it--or at least the parody versions. The first parody version I heard of Meghan Trainor's "All About That Bass" was the Star Wars version by Team Unicorn. Last night, my husband shared MDI High School's version of "All About the Books" on Facebook. It wasn't long before my own tongue-in-cheek, vegetarian version foisted itself on me. Here are my vegetarian-inspired lyrics to "All About the Beets" for your pleasure. And for your even greater pleasure....I won't sing them (trust me on this).

Standard Disclaimer: These lyrics written for non-commercial use. I do not own any rights to the original music or lyrics.

Non-Standard Disclaimer: And it's OK if you like eating meat.

All About The Beets

Because you know
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets, no bovines
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets, no bovines
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets, no bovines
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets

Yeah, it's pretty clear, I gave up all meat
But I can cook beans, cook beans
So that they’re good to eat
'Cause I got that spice rack that all the boys chase
And all the right fruit in all the right places

I see the megafarm wearing out the dirt
We know that shit ain't healthy
C'mon now, save the Earth
If you got quinoa fritters, just eat 'em up
'Cause every inch of me is veggie
From the bottom to the top

Yeah, my doctor she told me don't worry about your size
She says, "Protein is more than steak, fish, and chicken fries."

You know I must reduce my carbon footprint for my son.
So if you’re into consumption then go ahead and move along.

Because you know I'm
All about the beets
'Bout the beets, no bovines
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets, no bovines
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets, no bovines
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets
Hey!

I'm bringing tofu back
Go ahead and tell them burger eaters that
No, I'm just playing. I know you think it’s bad
But I'm here to tell ya
Every inch of me is veggie from the bottom to the top

Yeah, my doctor she told me don't worry about your size
She says, "Protein is more than steak, fish, and chicken fries."

You know I must reduce my carbon footprint for my son,
So if you’re into consumption then go ahead and move along.

Because you know I'm
All about the beets
'Bout the beets, no bovines
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets, no bovines
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets, no bovines
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets

Because you know I'm
All about the beets
'Bout the beets, no bovines
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets, no bovines
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets, no bovines
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets

Because you know I'm
All about the beets
'Bout the beets, no bovines
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets, no bovines
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets, no bovines
I'm all about the beets
'Bout the beets
'Bout the beets, 'bout the beets
Hey, hey, ooh
You know you like these beets